Paradox
Jr. Member
Posts: 441
That guy with the Hypno Spiral.
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« Reply #60 on: February 12, 2008, 03:23:24 AM » |
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I definitely think that tonight works better.
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This post made possible by the MacArthur foundation, and the continued support of viewers like you.
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Ruskin
Registered Artfag
Hero Member
Posts: 3,118
Jeez, chill out, mang
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« Reply #61 on: February 12, 2008, 03:39:19 AM » |
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I'd agree. Especially considering the line "And past the dusky shutting of the sun"
But boil isn't really two syllables. And the omission of the "then" doesn't really speed it. In fact, it gives me pause. The singular instance of contrast of form imparts this odd feeling that's mildly disturbing. Idunno. S'your poem.
As for my criticisms, I'm glad to help in creative endeavors. Whenever, really, if you want it. Just let me know. I can't guarantee anything so in-depth as this... the mood really struck me here... but I'll definitely give my input, and if you really want some serious crit, I can take something and sit on it for a day or two and get back to you with something.
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Hi, my name is Spencer Ruskin, and I'm a Post-Post-Post Squidiite. <TTS> I looked over on my floor and I thought I saw a pair of panties on the ground
<ruskin> um
<TTS> Turns out it was my dog's bandana |
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Gagootsi
EK ER HUSKARL
Global Moderator
Hero Member
Posts: 5,184
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« Reply #62 on: February 12, 2008, 04:00:09 AM » |
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/CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM THAT IS WAY BETTER THAN RUSKIN'S LOL
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Noreg er ein morrosam plass å bu
Sjølv om vikingar drep folk.
Dei seier alltid orsak etterpå
Og dei er veldig snille folk.
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Star
Full Member
Posts: 935
Panda.
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« Reply #63 on: February 13, 2008, 05:20:24 AM » |
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LULZ
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But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.'
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Star
Full Member
Posts: 935
Panda.
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« Reply #64 on: March 24, 2008, 03:34:20 PM » |
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Our next assignment past the sonnet was a dramatic monologue (based off of Browning, sort of, so iambic pentameter).
I keep the thirty pigeons on my roof.
They like it there, I'm sure. They come and go
as pleases them, but I feel that if they
were forced to choose, they'd want to stay.
I mean, I don't believe that pigeons think
like us and make similar rational
choices- that's sort of weird. But I would like
to think they like it here. I mean, I feed
them day and night. They don't scavenge and beg
like other pigeons. Nasty birds, those. I
can see them crowd the streets and peck and dive
at every little morsel. Feral
demons, those. No, my pigeons have it good,
and they know it. They hear me climb the stairs,
meticulously placing each tiny,
sock-covered foot on each dull, wooden step.
My heavy coats then sweep and drag across
the landing. My chest heaves. The stairs do seem
a bit longer each day. I lift the door
and turn the creaking knob, and push it out,
open and out. They momentarily
flutter, but they know that it's me. They cock
their little heads and perk as I reach down
into my bag and pull out whatever
is leftover from my own meal. I try
to save a good amount for them. I try
to be a good pigeon mother. Sometimes
I wonder what they would do without me.
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But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.'
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Gagootsi
EK ER HUSKARL
Global Moderator
Hero Member
Posts: 5,184
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« Reply #65 on: March 25, 2008, 06:13:43 AM » |
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think like ruskin
think like ruskin
think like ruskin
think like ruskin
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Noreg er ein morrosam plass å bu
Sjølv om vikingar drep folk.
Dei seier alltid orsak etterpå
Og dei er veldig snille folk.
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Grakelin
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« Reply #66 on: May 12, 2009, 01:25:12 AM » |
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Ernest is in love with hunting,
Dylan went for a drop of gin
Sylvia is busy baking,
and Virginia's gone to swim,
Charlotte went to sniff the roses,
Seneca was feeling blue,
And now all my friends have left me,
I have nothing left to do!
-----
A little morbid ditty I felt like writing, sort of a children's rhyme.
And nobody knows what Margaret is doing because nobody seems comfortable talking about it. |
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Drinking in the morning is underrated.
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Star
Full Member
Posts: 935
Panda.
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« Reply #67 on: May 14, 2009, 02:06:11 AM » |
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I'm confused.
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But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.'
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Ruskin
Registered Artfag
Hero Member
Posts: 3,118
Jeez, chill out, mang
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« Reply #68 on: May 14, 2009, 06:29:34 AM » |
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think like ruskin
think like ruskin
think like ruskin
think like ruskin
I'm confused.
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Hi, my name is Spencer Ruskin, and I'm a Post-Post-Post Squidiite. <TTS> I looked over on my floor and I thought I saw a pair of panties on the ground
<ruskin> um
<TTS> Turns out it was my dog's bandana |
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